How do we love our enemies for real?

I was looking for a good devotional reading to use when I saw that I have C.S Lewis's Preparing for Easter in my library. 

Preparing for Easter: Fifty Devotional Readings from C.S. Lewis

by C.S. Lewis

But it is still November, about 150 days to Easter. But since I am in such a need of a good devotional guide that I decided to use it anyway. So I'm doing a day's reading in three days: two days for the two Bible passages and another day on the reading. And that makes 150 days. Perfect.

And it is working well so far, which brings me to today's passage:

Matthew 5:43-48 NLT

You have heard the law that says, 'Love your neighbor' and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.

The thing is I had this as well in my Proverbs reading yesterday (I am following a Daily Wisdom from Proverbs reading plan from ESV.com):

Proverbs 24:17-18 NLT

Don't rejoice when your enemies fall; don't be happy when they stumble. For the LORD will be displeased with you and will turn his anger away from them.

When you get a double dose of the same thing-- it's like Jesus saying, "Truly, truly..."--and with that, I better pay very close attention.

This reminded me of this portion I just read in Brett McCracken's Uncomfortable: The Awkward and Essential Challenge of Christian Community about God's love and grace:

"There’s a gut-wrenching scene in the Korean film Secret Sunshine that captures the scandal of grace better than any film I’ve ever seen. The scene takes place in a prison, as protagonist Shin-ae (Jeon Do-yeon) goes to visit her son’s murderer in prison. Shin-ae, a new convert to Christianity, wants to forgive him. Her friends tell her she doesn’t have to see him face-to-face in order to forgive him. But she insists. She wants to see him in person and (truth be told) wants to witness the look on his face when she offers him the gift of forgiveness. And yet when she sits down to confront the prisoner on the other side of the glass, Shin-ae finds him unexpectedly happy, peaceful, even joyful. “You look better than I expected,” she tells him before explaining that the peace, love, and “new life” she’d found in God had prompted her to forgive him. She’s “so happy to feel God’s love and grace” that she wanted to spread his love by coming to visit her son’s murderer. But then the shocker: the prisoner, the killer of her son, has also come to faith in Christ. “Since I came here, I have accepted God in my heart. The Lord has reached out to this sinner,” he says. “Is that so?” replies Shin-ae, crestfallen and shaken. “It’s good you have found God,” she says, very tentatively. The convicted murderer continues: “Yes, I am so grateful. God reached out to a sinner like me. He made me kneel to repent my sins. And God has absolved me of them.” And this is where Shin-ae begins to wilt. “God . . . has forgiven your sins?” she mutters in disbelief. “Yes,” he replies. “And I have found inner peace. . . . My repentance and absolution have brought me peace. Now I start and end each day with prayer. I always pray for you, Ms. Lee. I’ll pray for you until I die.” This hits Shin-ae hard. When she leaves the prison, she collapses, overcome by the horror of an idea she had not considered: that God could beat her to the punch in forgiving her son’s killer, offering this criminal the only real absolution he needed. Unfortunately, Shin-ae can’t accept this seeming injustice. How can a law-abiding, good citizen like her and a convicted child-killer be on the same level in terms of God’s grace? She can’t take that, and abandons God because of it. The sufficiency and availability of God’s grace to all people is scandalous, and for many, a pill too hard to swallow. We’re prideful creatures. We want to believe that “right” living warrants us better standing in God’s eyes than, say, terrorists and rapists and pedophiles. We want God to reward us for being good and punish others for being bad. Our pride makes it hard for us to stomach the notion that earning or deserving are not words that exist in God’s vocabulary of grace."

This is what McCracken said as "one of the most offensive things about the cross of Christ has always been its leveling aspect, giving “insider” access to prostitutes, tax collectors, and the pariahs of society just as much as to religious and cultural elites; to Gentiles just as much as to Jews. The wretched thief on the cross didn’t and couldn’t do anything “good” to save himself, but Jesus still welcomed him into his kingdom. This is offensive."

It is a very tough thing to do, to love our enemies but that is exactly what Jesus has done for us, his enemies, and whom he calls friends when we respond to his invitation. 

And with that, like what is reflected in Proverbs 24:17-18, we are not to rejoice when they fall but as in Matthew 5:43-48, we are to love them and pray for them. 

And that takes a firm decision for me that I need to make and lots and lots of practice as I keep going back to God for him to teach me how to do it well.

Pearlie

Let's not hoard

There was a news article on Friday implying that there will be stricter controls in our movement control order, and there we go, panic buying happens again.

I tried to go to the supermarket yesterday morning but cars were lining up to enter. I gave up and turned back. 

I only need milk, fruits and bread. But I didn't want to be in the crowd. 

This morning, my hubby went out to 7-11 and managed to get some milk and bread. 

Good enough. It will last us for another week.

Stay safe everyone. We don't have to eat a lot or even eat all the time. Be ok with what we already have. 

pearlie

Don't be a Small Breath Ghost 小氣鬼

The Chinese language is truly a very pictorial language.

The word of the day for me is 小氣, siu2hei3 in Cantonese and xiao3qi4 in Mandarin.

Literally 小 means small and 氣 means gas, air, breath or anger. And 小氣 means narrow-minded. 

Sigh...it's just someone being very 小氣 today which was so frustrating. 

It makes me wonder why people do not look at the bigger picture but fret over the smallest of things.

pearlie

Ladies Lunch

We had a ladies lunch in Doris's house today and it was a blast. Food was so good but much more than that the fellowship and chats were awesome as we grouped up and got to know each other better.

I for one at least got to find out and remember the names. I am guilty of going to church every Sunday but not knowing many people and worse than that, not knowing their names at least. 

We should have this more often. 

pearlie

Offering our imperfect selves to the perfect God

Our church will be celebrating our 10th anniversary soon and I came up with an idea to put up a colouring piece of art for all church members to colour on.

It will represent the coming together of the church to "paint a part of ourselves" on the painting however small and however imperfect it will be. 

As a result, we will offer an imperfect church depicted in the imperfect piece of art as an offering to the perfect God.

Here's the art piece in church this morning:

And the result after some colouring:

We will have 3 more weeks to complete it.

pearlie

We all procrastinate, don't we?

I have posted this video back in 2016 but I still talk about it and recommend it to others when the topic comes up. 

Are we born procrastinators?

I don't want to be one but I find myself procrastinating all the time. It's a refusal to just get to work and complete the stuff that I need to do. 

Why do we procrastinate?

Someone says it's a craving to do something else because we have an aversion to the very thing that we are to do. 

Is that so?

But there are things that I love doing that I procrastinate a lot on. Like writing. I love to put my thoughts into this blog but I keep procrastinating on it. But when I get started, I really enjoy doing it. 

So why do I procrastinate?

I suppose like what Tim Urban in the video says, the Self-Gratification Monkey prefers to play and do other more fun and useless stuff leaving the Rational Decision Maker with no handle on the situation but wait till the monkey gives up so he can get to work. 

I need to keep the monkey on reins and at bay.

I need to be rational and stop procrastinating especially when there are no deadlines. 

pearlie

A memorable photo collage

I had wanted my boss to give up this section of our wall but thanks to my dedicated staff, she took up the challenge and filled it up with much life and colours. 

Except that my face seems to be everywhere. Never been so exposed. LOL. 

pearlie

The most difficult things to do in life

Today I realised I have overreacted and I made an apology to someone I felt I was unfair to. 

Then I came across this poster:

The superlatives may be overstating it but it definitely does feel like to apologise, to forgive and to forget are amongst the hardest things to do in life. 

And God knows I need practice, hence seventy times seven. 

pearlie

Praying for your enemies

The world is full of all kinds of people. But one thing is for sure—we are all pretty much all for ourselves. For good and for bad.

I try my best to avoid toxic individuals but once in awhile I have no choice but to deal with them and I'd almost always be barked at and bitten. 

And it happened today. And what do I do? What can I do?

To start off with, I am obviously very angry. But as I dwell on it and think it over, I actually begin to feel sorry for this person. I suppose I do come off as patronizing when  I say it but I do feel sorry for her. 

Those harsh words and display of contempt has to come from somewhere. Which is sad. 

This obviously reminds me of this passage from Matthew where Jesus said:

“You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

~ Matthew 5:43-48 NIV

So I must pray for her every time she comes to mind. It's not easy. Life is not easy. But praying for my enemies may just help me be kind to myself and then to them. 

pearlie

Well, really...nobody cares

I remember always being worried about what other people think but like what Arvind Gupta says, "I promise you... nobody cares about your business except for you. Nobody."

Then I begin to realise that people mostly just care about themselves and "you will become way less concerned with what other people think of you when you realize how seldom they do." (David Foster Wallace)

It was only when I read this just a moment ago that even though I'm not 60 yet, I am beginning to get it:

"The "18/40/60" rule to happiness:

At age 18, people care very much about what others think of them.

By age 40, they learn not to worry what others think.

By age 60, they figure out that no one was thinking about them in the first place."

~ Daniel Amen

But then it is only in God do I trust and put my hope in. He is faithful and will always be faithful. 

The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him.

~ Lamentations 3:25

pearlie

When a friend is most needed

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses. 

~ Ann Landers

Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity. 

~ Khalil Gibran

Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend. 

~ Bill Watterson

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. 

~ Walter Winchell

The strong bond of friendship is not always a balanced equation; friendship is not always about giving and taking in equal shares. Instead, friendship is grounded in a feeling that you know exactly who will be there for you when you need something, no matter what or when. 

~ Simon Sinek

There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship. 

~ Thomas Aquinas

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. 

~ Helen Keller

Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness. 

~ Euripides

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. 

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

~ Colossians 3:12-14 ESV

pearlie

It’s so hard to find forgiveness

I learnt a big lesson about forgiveness today. Something happened and I realised how lightly have I taken God’s forgiveness. 

For one, I take myself too seriously at times and I don’t easily forgive myself.

And secondly, I find that people at work do not forgive, nor are they emphathetic when you make a mistake. 

With this, I realised how much I have taken the forgiveness of God for granted, that I don’t think too much of it.

But the things that I have done wrong and how I have sinned against my God is so much more in comparison to the mistakes I have made where forgiveness is so hard to come by. 

Imagine if God were like the people we encounter with everyday, who are judgmental and unforgiving, how can we live without God’s forgiveness?

I am now so grateful that God forgives. And I’m forever grateful for he died for me on the cross, in my place for my sin, so I may live. 

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

~ 1 John 1:9 ESV

I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins. [26] Put me in remembrance; let us argue together; set forth your case, that you may be proved right.

~ Isaiah 43:25-26 ESV

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.

~ Ephesians 1:7-10 ESV

Amen. 

pearlie

It’s not so much about the coffee anymore

It has been quite busy at work lately and it does feel like my plate is piled up high and overflowing. 

And so it feels and works well when we move out of the office area and have our meeting in Starbucks. 

If you think about it, cafes these days are not so much about the coffee anymore. 

It’s time and space. 

Work meetings. Friends catch-ups. Family gathering. 

We savor the time we spend together, catch up on each other, or settle issues and plan things as we sit together. 

The coffee’s just an add-on. 

pearlie

What to do when you get scolded for no reason

I sort of got scolded by someone for no reason today and I got quite frustrated with it. 

But I did these few things:

- I did react at first but stepped back after that to try understand it all

- I began to admit to myself that I am not very good in that area to begin with

- I evaluated the situation and realised (again) that I am looking at the wrong places for fulfilment

I then found this article How to Survive Being Scolded useful and I did do some of the steps suggested, but a few more I’d need to pick up and think about it more. 

pearlie

What’s your favourite word today?

I keep this daily diary app Askt that asks me the same question for each of the year. It’s interesting I’m still at it after 4 years and it’s interesting to see how my answers have evolved, and even more interesting how my answers can be exactly the same year on year. 

The question today is an interesting one: what’s your favourite word right now?

The first word that came my mind was “think”. 

I shared it with a couple of my friends and their responses were interesting too.

One ask why am I so into thinking? Looks like this may not be the first time I talked to him about my propensity to think all the time. But it’s something I can’t stop doing. I probably think too much for my own good to begin with.

The other friend commented that it’s a very interesting word in that it’s both cold and rational, and warm and emotional. Now isn’t that an interesting observation. I never thought of it that way before. I know it can be either intellectual, I am thinking about something or emotional, I am thinking about you. But I never thought about it being warm and cold. 

Yes, I am thinking I have very interesting thinking friends too. 

So, what’s your favourite word for today?

pearlie

Be brave enough to live life creatively

Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort. 

~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others. 

~ Ayn Rand

Be brave enough to live life creatively. The creative place where no one else has ever been. 

~ Alan Alda

Creativity is just connecting things. When you ask creative people how they did something, they feel a little guilty because they didn't really do it, they just saw something. It seemed obvious to them after a while. That's because they were able to connect experiences they've had and synthesize new things. 

~ Steve Jobs

pearlie

Read a book in a day!

My friend Ee-Tan posted two books in Facebook and one of them caught my eye. 

I have read a couple of books on defectors from North Korea but this is one I have not read even though I do have a copy of it. 

The Girl with Seven Names, Escape from North Korea

by Lee Hyeon Seo

I decided to start reading it and it is quite well written and easy to read, so much so I finished it in a day. 

I have read books in a day before, but not many and I’m quite happy to have done one this round. Though in my travel back from the US, I did finish one book in one day but that was quite an elongated day having traveled across the international time zone. So it won’t count. 

The book is quite engaging and you will feel like you’ve been alongside her in her journey across the different nations to finally reach South Korea. 

It would not be fair to compare between defectors, because their lives and experiences are different but I must say the other book I read, A Thousand Miles to Freedom by Kim Eun Sun, though not as well written, was more harrowing than Lee’s. 

And from our perspective, we would think that it would be an excellent idea for more North Koreans to defect to the South but after reading these books, I found that it may not be the case. 

Life for them in the South is usually hard and lonely, and it is very difficult for them to settle or to make a good living. Life for South Koreans themselves is tough and competitive, what more for the defectors who usually have no degrees, no family support or a good background to speak of. 

As oppressive and harsh life in the North was, many would wish they had never left. 

pearlie

Every minute of reunion is worth keeping

With my son now so far away in the US, I really felt it when I watched this short film. 

It is based on a true story, filmed using an iPhone X, and considering it’s filmed using a phone, it’s very well done. 

It’s about how a mother only had 3 minutes to see her son, and with the silly but endearing things that a mom would do. 

It’s short but be prepared with a good supply of tissues. 

Three Minutes - a Short Film by Peter Chan, Apple

And I really love the saying at the end of the film—every minute of reunion is worth keeping. 

It makes me miss my late grandmother so much. 

The Chinese New Year is coming. Get reunited with your loved ones, parents, brothers, sisters, family, friends. 

Tell them how much you love them. Hug them. Tell them how much you appreciate them. 

Every moment counts. 

pearlie

Why do we lou sang when it’s not even the Chinese New Year yet?

I remember we used to only lou sang during the Chinese New Year proper, which is only right because we lou sang to the New Year and not the old. 

So why do we do it now before the New Year?

What I can deduce is that the restaurants want to make more bucks with it since there is a high demand and I believe their profit margin is very lucrative. And for us consumers, we have more opportunities to eat it. 

We just had it for dinner today and it was really good. 

pearlie

I just found out there is this thing called the Little Black Dress

...and I have at least 10 of them. 

What is it with women and little black dresses? 

I didn’t even know they are called Little Black Dresses or LBD until I googled it. It was apparently Coco Chanel who created the icon. 

Read about here in Smithsonian.com and this Wiki article. 

It is indeed women’s wardrobe staple and with my collection which I’ve purchased over the years, I can still wear them because they never get dated. 

How many Little Black Dresses do you have?

pearlie