The Messiah: "He was despised" should have been "I am despised"

We finally had our first performance of Handel's Messiah today. It was truly an experience of mixed emotions that I will need to unpack in days to come.

I won't say we did that well but the reviews so far have been surprisingly good. For one, Paul Baker, our conductor,  posted in Facebook saying that, "A good friend who came...runs a company that stages huge arts events globally in tandem with e.g the Olympics, World Cup etc. He's worked with Orchestras such as Simon Bolivar, London Symphony, Vienna and New York Philharmonic and Birmingham Symphony Orchestra. He stated that [the] night's performance of Messiah was as good as any he's ever seen globally and a lot better than many. He was truly stunned to witness this level in Malaysia. Now that's what I call a seriously worthy testimony not just given out of a new convert's excitement about classical music."

Wow...that is really something. 

What moved me most tonight however was Gabrielle Maes's aria He was Despised. It was so emotionally sung in these words that they pierced my heart as to what an amazing Saviour in Jesus we have. 

He was despised

Despised and rejected 

Rejected my men

A man of sorrows 

And acquainted with grief

When I came home and further reflected on the song, I suddenly realized that I should be the one saying those words - I am despised, I am rejected, I am with so much sorrows, I am the one with grief. How often have I forgotten that and only looked at Jesus as one who died on the cross, period. 

Yes, I know he died for me, but have I really understood the immensity of the cross? Most probably I will never ever understand it fully, academically or emotionally or experientially or spiritually, but this encounter has indeed deepened my understanding of the cross. 

I am despised and rejected. As much as I seem like a good person on the outside, no one has seen me on the inside. I am truly despicable. And yet God has accepted me. He gave his Son to be despised and rejected in my place so I can be whole and complete again to meet the Holy Almighty One. 

And for that I am so grateful. How amazing is his love for us, his mercy and his grace, that Jesus suffered and died in our place so that we are complete in him again. 

pearlie

My Lectio Divina

I continued reading Dallas Willard's Hearing God, Developing a Conversational Relationship with God last night and it was timely that I came to the section on a Lectio Divina, or Divine Reading.

I needed it because of a challenge I'm currently facing. The passage was exactly what I needed. It was on 2 Kings 6:11-17, where the king of Syria was at war with Israel at the time of prophet Elisha.

Lectio Divina is a traditional Benedictine practice of scriptural reading, meditating and prayer, to have a close communion with God. It has four parts to it: lectio (reading), meditatio (meditation), oratio (prayer) and contemplatio (contemplation).

I found this article helpful: Step by Step Through Lectio Divina, although it's Catholic in context. I will be using some of the material from here and from Willard's:

Firstly, I prepare myself in a quiet place free from distraction. I become quiet before God. I still my heart and place myself in the loving presence of Jesus. I commend to him all my worries, obligations and hassles of the day. They will still be there when I finish, or they will be resolved.

Lectio
I read the passage attentively, reverently, slowly. I patiently wait for God to reveal himself. His divine mystery cannot be contained or controlled by me. I let myself be taken in by his word and be drawn to him. I will not rush. I take my time, with patience and perseverance. I will allow myself to be immersed in the situation, because “those who lived through those experiences felt very much as we would have if we had been in their place”. I will listen with the ear of my heart for a word or phrase, a detail of the story that shimmers or stands out to me. I will see where I find myself in the passage: as one of the people in the passage, or a thing or even a fly on the wall watching it all happen. I do not choose this myself. I let the Spirit bring it to me.

The section that shimmers to me from the reading was v.12, where the king asked his servant if there was a spy in his army. The servants replied, "None, my lord, O king; but Elisha, the prophet who is in Israel, tells the king of Israel the words that you speak in your bedroom." And the I find myself as Elisha's servant in v.16-17 when he found an army with chariots and horses all around the city. Elisha said to him, "Do not be afraid, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them." Then Elisha prayed and said, "O LORD, please open his eyes that he may see." So the LORD opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw, and behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.

Meditatio
This is my human response to God in his word. I ponder and ruminate what I have just read. I quietly savor the word and meditate on it in expectation. I consciously open myself to him and let him touch my heart. I will engage my thought, imagination, emotion and desire. I reflect and consider the word or phrase that stood out to me and ask: why do these words resonated with me? Who or what I found myself to be in the passage? How does it feel to be this person or object? What draws me? What am I thinking or feeling about God? I ponder awhile and then I ask God: how does this connect with my life today? What do I need to know or be or do?

The passage stands out for me because God is indeed all-present. Really, whom shall I fear? And as the servant of Elisha, I felt I was in awe of God who is all-powerful and able to protect me and save me, no matter what happens.

Oratio
This is the prayer of my heart: unique, personal, honest and spontaneous, specific to the experience of encountering God in his word. I pray whatever I need to pray. I thank God for something or ask God for something.

I thank God for revealing himself to me, for showing me I need not be afraid because I have a sovereign and loving God who will not leave me or forsake me.

Contemplatio
This stage is God's response to me, totally beyond my control. I cannot create contemplation by myself. It is his divine gift. I do as I am led. I'm totally passive, held by the mystery of God. I will wait on him or simply be with him. I sit in the companionship of God, the one who showed up and can be seen. It's God's gaze on me and my gaze of faith back at him. I become focused on the Lord. It can be deep, intimate, intense and somstones tearful, often too deep for words. It's childlike, a surrender to the loving will of my Father in an even deeper union with his beloved Son. His gaze purifies my heart, illuminates my eyes with the eyes of Jesus, and teaches me compassion. I allow the Holy Spirit to shape me in the form of my Savior.

I nestled into the presence of God and enjoyed his peaceful and complete presence. I then fall into a deep peaceful slumber trusting in his love and righteousness.

I need nothing but God, and to lose myself in the heart of God.
~ St. Margaret Mary Alacoque

pearlie

Jesus was here!

I was doing my devotional this morning when I read this: "We have the finished work of Christ on the cross more than 2,000 years ago."¹

My next thought really surprised me.

"Jesus was here!"

Wait, what was that?

Of course I know Jesus was here. I've known that all my life. And so why this sudden revelation that Jesus was here?

As I take time now to reflect on it, I feel that it is the prompting of the Spirit to me to the reality of God in my life.

I've studied Scripture. I've meditated on his Word. I've worked on obeying him and living my life according to his will. And now it is being impressed on me that God is real, in history, in time, in space, not just in thought and belief, if I can use the word.

This may not seem much to you. And yet, right here, right now, the realization that Jesus became man and lived among men, walked on this earth, breathed the air, amazes me. I don't know how else to put it.

God was here. In person. Wow.

pearlie
1 'Isaiah: God Saves Sinners' by Raymond C. Ortlund, Jr., R.Kent Hughes, General Editor