Wait on the Lord, renew your strength

Psalm 6
To the choirmaster: with stringed instruments; according to The Sheminith. A Psalm of David.
1 O LORD, rebuke me not in your anger, nor discipline me in your wrath.
2 Be gracious to me, O LORD, for I am languishing; heal me, O LORD, for my bones are troubled.
3 My soul also is greatly troubled. But you, O LORD--how long?
4 Turn, O LORD, deliver my life; save me for the sake of your steadfast love.
5 For in death there is no remembrance of you; in Sheol who will give you praise?
6 I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping.
7 My eye wastes away because of grief; it grows weak because of all my foes.
8 Depart from me, all you workers of evil, for the LORD has heard the sound of my weeping.
9 The LORD has heard my plea; the LORD accepts my prayer.
10 All my enemies shall be ashamed and greatly troubled; they shall turn back and be put to shame in a moment.

This morning, I felt most tired and weary; like there is nothing much to look forward to. I think it is due to:
1. My hormones acting up
2. Nothing much of a challenge is happening at work lately
3. I am plain tired; I did not get enough rest

It is during times like these that I always desire a change in my life, and the only thing I keep thinking of is to change my line of work. It would be a drastic change, which is why I am still waiting on God. When I was in my early teens, there was this altar call for those who desire to serve God full time and in my emotionally charged days then, I responded. I have a friend who at one time several years ago, kept reminding me of that vow insisting that whatever vows I made to God, it cannot be revoked. I was quite turned off by her. I know the Scripture verses she was refering to but I am not entirely convinced of that vow being non-revocable, one made when I was still raw and fresh.

Having said that however, I do have a desire to serve him full time but I am certain that when I do that, it is not because of a non-revocable vow I have to fulfill but a wholesome desire to want to do so; out of love more than out of duty.

I have been waiting on God for many years. I have tried several times to just do what I thought is the right thing but it did not work out. So since then, I decided not to force it but to take the opportunity to grow first in His Word while growing in relationship with him, however long it will take; 2 years, 10 years, 20 years. There is still so much to learn and so much to do. And I trust that he will in his perfect timing lead me to what I should do and where I should be.

Just that, sometimes the waiting gets wearisome. O that I will continue to be patient, to wait on the Lord and trust him. I am nevertheless encouraged, through a window of hope which he showed me several days ago. I trust that my God is omnipotent. Nothing is impossible for him.

Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
~ Isa 40:30-31

Maeghan
Picture by Robin Parker